


(Fuck a) Silver Lining

by enbyred



Series: Pray for the Wicked [4]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Breakup, F/M, I'm almost sorry, Identity Issues, Identity Reveal, but also like, i'll be honest, not at all, this is not a happy fic at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 18:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17924261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyred/pseuds/enbyred
Summary: When Felix and Bridgette's identities get revealed to Paris, they have different reactions.





	(Fuck a) Silver Lining

**Author's Note:**

> Based off Panic! at the Disco's [(Fuck a) Silver Lining](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZUopuhqwCM)  
> Sequel: [The Overpass](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18330371)

Felix dropped the TV remote, fumbling to pick it up again, and pressed three different buttons before he finally got the power button and nearly threw it away from him again, curling up on the couch with shaking hands grabbing fistfuls of his hair. Deep breaths, he told himself. Deep breaths, this isn’t real, it’s fine, no one knows.

The image of Nadja Chamack with photos of himself and Bridgette with the headline “LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR REVEALED?” burned into his mind. When had someone seen either of them transform? They had only revealed to each other since they had defeated Hawkmoth - Felix’s own _f_ _ ather _ \- and were sworn to secrecy. Bridgette had sworn not to tell anyone, she knew that he needed to lay low with the arrest of his father, she knew that he never wanted anyone else to know that he was Chat Noir, she  _ knew _ . How could this happen? No one else knew, no one could have possibly told Nadja, and he was so careful, he was  _ so careful _ . Now the whole world knew, and he would never have peace again, there would be reporters at his door in no time, and Nathalie...what was Nathalie going to think? What if his father heard? And the guardian? He wouldn’t be allowed to be Chat Noir anymore, and Bridgette would get her miraculous taken too, and they would be the heroes who failed at protecting their identities, this was a complete disaster.

He needed to go for a run. He needed to go for a run right now.

“Plagg,” Felix called, his voice wavering. “Claws out.”

In a flash of green light, Plagg activated the ring and Chat Noir was getting shakily to his feet to make his way over to the window. The moment he opened it and leaped onto the windowsill, he heard the door to his bedroom open. Nathalie called, “Felix! Wait-”

He didn’t wait for her to say anything else. He leaped out the window and over the wall of the courtyard so he could get on a rooftop and run these awful feelings off.

How could this have happened? It was the only question he could ask himself as he ran and leaped from rooftop to rooftop as fast as he could. He didn’t care if he tripped and fell. Maybe he would hurt himself and his face would be scarred beyond recognition and no one would know that he was Felix, no one would know that he was Chat Noir. Part of him hoped that he would trip and destroy his face. Maybe Plagg’s bad luck would come in handy for once.

But if that’s what he wanted, then of course he would have the opposite luck from what he wanted. It always turned out this way for him.

People down on the streets below were shouting, pointing, calling him by his name, his real name. It was bad enough when he got attention as both Chat Noir and Felix separately, and now he had to deal with getting the attention of both of them together all the time.

Who? How? How could this happen? Who had told Nadja? Only Bridgette knew who he was,  _ only _  Bridgette. She wouldn't betray him like this. She wouldn't. 

Would she?

Felix wasn't sure where he was when he stopped. All he knew was that it was the tallest building he could find, and he was out of sight of any civilian who could want to bother him. At least the view was pretty.

Felix heard feet land on the roof behind him. He didn't turn to see who it was. There was only one person who could find him so easily.

“I thought I might find you here,” Ladybug said quietly.

With a deep breath, Chat Noir replied, “I literally never come here.”

Ladybug drew closer and sat beside him, just close enough for her shoulder to brush up against his. “Do you know who did it?”

Felix shook his head. “You're the only one who knows my identity.” He scoffed. “Well, you  _ were  _ the only one who knew my identity.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Do  _ you  _ know who ratted us out?”

“No.” Ladybug stared at the Parisian skyline, looking more tired and sad then Felix had ever seen her. Bridgette was usually so full of energy, full of life. She could bring sunshine to any day. But now, the overcast sky shone brighter than she did.

“Does anyone else know your identity?”

“Now they do.” Bridgette took a deep breath and continued, “I was just about to tell my parents. After all these years of sneaking out, tiptoeing around them, lying, they deserve to know, now that it's safe. But they didn't deserve to find out like that.”

Felix wanted to believe her. He wanted to take everything she said at face value, to know that she would never lie to him. But someone had found out. Someone had found out, whether from being told or happening to see them both transform, and now everything was ruined. Bridgette had every right to tell her family who she was, and now that Hawkmoth was no longer a threat, it wasn't like she was putting her parents in danger by telling them. But Felix didn't plan on telling anyone. He had no one to tell. His father was in prison, and it wasn't like he felt close enough to Nathalie to tell her that he happens to be the superhero who took down his own father. If he ever took Nathalie's advice and went to therapy, perhaps his therapist would have been allowed to know his secret identity. But even that was questionable. 

All of Paris knew who he was. He would never be free from the cage of Chat Noir, or the burden of Felix Agreste. Not as long as he was in Paris. If he was anywhere else, maybe it would be okay. If he was in a town where nobody knew him, or something - maybe then it wouldn’t matter.

“I can’t stay here,” Felix whispered, his voice wavering as he curled in on himself.

Bridgette was quiet, pressing her shoulder against Felix’s. Her hand found his and squeezed tightly.

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

Shaking his head, his voice was barely audible when he replied, “I don’t know. But I can’t stay in Paris.”

He could feel her hand shaking as she turned to look at him, a heavy sadness in her expression behind the mask. “You want to leave?”

Staring determinedly toward the skyline, he clamped his lips together and nodded. If he looked her in the eye, his resolve would waver, and he knew it.

“You don’t have to.” Felix knew the desperate tone in her voice as she placed her free hand on his arm and tried to get him to look at her. “You don’t have to leave. This is a mess, I know, but maybe we can work something out, maybe it doesn’t have to be like this. We - we could hide your identity somehow, make it so that you’re not Felix Agreste anymore. You could go by a new name, someone that no one knows. Cut your hair, wear glasses, change your style, nobody’ll know any better! You don’t have to be Felix, you don’t have to be Chat Noir either! Hawkmoth isn’t around anymore, we don’t have to be on superhero duty. It’ll just be you and me, whoever we are. It’ll be okay! I swear, it’ll be okay!”

“No, it won’t!” He tore his arm away from her and stood, grabbing fitsfuls of his hair as he began to pace on the roof. “Don’t you get it? It won’t be okay, our lives will never be back to the way they were! You really think a haircut and glasses will keep people from knowing who I am? I can’t do this, Bridgette, you know that!”

“Fe, it’s okay-”

“No it’s not!” He turned on her and shouted, “You have no idea what it’s like to be me! You have no idea how it feels to find out that your ass of a father was a fucking supervillain all along, you have no idea how it feels to be forced into a superhero role you don’t want because you can’t get the fucking ring off, and to have everyone know these things about you! You, your parents run a bakery, and they’re the sweetest little sunshiney rainbow happy-times people in the entire world, you’re not famous, you have no idea what this is like, what it’s going to do to me! What  _ they’re _  going to do to me!” Felix shouted and grabbed his staff to hit it against the concrete, hoping for any release of his anger.

“Felix!” Bridgette jumped up and took the staff from him. “Spots off.” Her transformation fell in a flash of light, Tikki spiraling out of the earrings, and she glared up at him. “Detransform, right now. The last thing you need is to be angry as Chat Noir.”

He moved to grab the weapon from her. “Give me my staff, Bridgette-”

“Say ‘claws in.’” She held her hand against his chest to keep him away from the staff. She was significantly less strong as Bridgette than she was as Ladybug, but Chat wasn’t fighting her. Sternly, Bridgette insisted, “Detransform. If you hate being Chat Noir so much, then just be Felix.”

He closed his bright green eyes and took a shaky breath, whispering “Claws in,” with his exhale. A flash of green, and Plagg was sitting on Felix’s shoulder, looking concernedly up at him.

“We can’t control that somebody found out,” Bridgette told him softly, taking his hands in hers and guiding him to sit with her. “But we can control how we react. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Your father doesn’t have any control over you anymore, and you don’t have to have any attachment to his brand. Reinvent yourself based on who  _ you _  want to be. Lay low for a while until this blows over, and then it doesn’t have to be all bad, okay?”

Felix stared at the space between them, painfully aware of Bridgette’s thumb brushing over his ring, still stuck firmly on his hand. He had just started college - now he wouldn’t be able to go, at least for a semester. He couldn’t go to college, or look for a job, or patrol as Chat, or do anything he really wanted to do. What was the point of ‘reinventing’ himself if he couldn’t do anything he wanted without people prodding, asking insensitive questions, whispering, yelling, demanding pictures and autographs? He couldn’t go through life with everyone knowing these things about him and ruining everything he enjoyed. Who would want anyone to know that their father was arrested? Then add ‘superpowered terrorist’ as the crime, and no one would want to spread that information. And add ‘being the child hero fighting him the whole time.’ It was too much.

“Come with me.” His eyes flicked up to meet hers. “I can’t stay here, Bridgette. Come with me, we’ll leave, we’ll go anywhere we want to go. I’ll inherit tons of money from my father, we’ll be set to travel for years. I don’t want to be here, I hate being here as it is, so let’s both leave.”

Bridgette’s eyes were wide with surprise. “Fe, I can’t leave. Paris needs me, it needs us. Even if Hawkmoth is gone, Paris needs their superheroes as a symbol of peace and strength. We can still help, even if there aren’t any akumas. And we  _ should _ ! We can’t just skip town the moment the threats against the city aren’t supernatural anymore.”

“They have the police! They have other heroes, they still have protection, and it doesn’t have to be us! So let’s  _ go _ ! We deserve a break, especially after this disaster!”

He felt Bridgette’s thumb make another pass over his ring. He couldn’t get a break. Not unless his curse was broken.

“I can’t make you stay,” she whispered. “But I wish you would. I love you, Felix, but I can’t leave. My whole life is here, I can’t just leave it, I can’t leave my parents and everything I’ve been doing here. It’s easier for you. You don’t - you’ve wanted changes in your life for forever.”

He could hear what she was trying to say. He didn’t have friends. He didn’t have people he loved - except her. He didn’t have anything keeping him in Paris. He didn’t have a life there. Not one that he wanted.

“I love you too, Bridgette.” Felix stood and pulled her up with him. “I need to clear my head. Plagg, claws out.”

Bridgette nodded and called up her own transformation, holding his cheeks gently between her hands and going up on her tiptoes to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He nearly gasped, but let himself kiss her back for a few moments before she pulled away.

“Whatever you decide,” Ladybug assured him, “I love you, and one way or another, it’s going to be okay.”

He nodded and took a running start to leap down from the rooftop and bound through Paris to make it back to the mansion. He knew that he was going home just to pack, and he would be gone in hours. He wasn’t sure where he was going to go, but all that mattered was that he was going away. There was no way he was staying one more night in that mansion, in the city who knew who he was.

As much as Plagg tried to plead with Felix to stay in Paris with Bridgette, Felix threw essentials and a few changes of clothes into a suitcase and ran from the house, expertly avoiding Nathalie. He took a taxi to the airport, hiding his face under a low-brimmed hat as he went, and bought a plane ticket to the next flight leaving the country - apparently he was going to London.

He boarded the plane some time around four in the morning, his heart pounding as he took his seat and glanced out the window every few seconds. What was he doing? He had no plan, no idea were he was going, and he only spoke a little English. This was absolutely crazy, and yet it seemed less crazy than staying in Paris did. He fiddled with his ring, twisting it on his finger, spinning it, taking it off and putting it back on-

Taking it off?

Felix looked down at his hands, holding the ring in his trembling left hand, his right free of the ring. Plagg, hiding in Felix’s pocket, looked up at him, concern in his eyes.

The only thing Felix could do as the plane took off was lean his face into his hands and cry.


End file.
